issit depression again??

while talkin to my friends online n talkin bout Mr J.C i was thinkin...why issit tat cause of him im fallin into depression? its only on my own part n me being stupid but i cant help it...so i was thinking wat happens if i leave this country n go somewhere else? will he care?? will anyone care for tat matter? even if i leave without a word only my besties n parents? i don think so..i think everyone will celebrate or won care a shit...i really wanna leave.leave all the hurt behind me n go somewhere else n start all over. Go to a place where no one hates me or no one knoes me n who just loves me....i want to leave i really want to leave....i don want to stay in Singapore anymore...where ive only been hurt.....sobz...i think if i left..only a few like isaac,nadira n paul will give a thing tat ive left but i don think anyone from church will miss me..not even the Pastor....n mostly not even Joel i think everyone will be celebrating...all my enemies will be so happy n curse me tat i might stay n maybe even die there....i hate this place! i hate my life! i hate this world tat is surrounding me right now!!! I WANT LEAVE!! I WANT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!