why is life like this?

After the rain comes sunshine right? why issit that for me now, i see no sun shining? i still see grey or black? Im so tired...i asked my mom this morning during a morning walk, whether i can disappear or leave this world now? i really wish for it to happen....anyway enough of this stupid emo stuff but heres what happened to me this whole damn week...

1.from last sat to just last tuesday.ive been sick
2.had mock exams the whole week
3.tired
4.sick
5.lost weight
6.not talking to dad
7.broke up with wilbert forever(hes not the one)
8.miss my friends terribly
9.find christians wierd
10.my own life feels fucked up
11.find myself fucked up

what should i do...