unsure...lost.....

i dunno wats goin on with me now.....suddenly ive turned into a rude mouthed person....lashin out at any who is negative to me or my family.....i feel like im not worthy of going to church....its true i learn nothin from there.....i learn tat God loves me but i don learn any good morals........im rude.....helpless n disrespectful at times........i should stop going to church.......i don feel good enough for them n i really don learn anything from there......ive become more negative....feel more left out than before and really see tat life has no meaning for me......sometimes wat do i do in this world?wat am i livin in this world for? i became a christian n is suppose to spread the world but in the end i dont cause im not a good example at all to spread the world...i don save ppl i just make them hate me......n if im not tat good of a person how they see a christian is a good example?so i should stop being one......stop goin church till i can stop dwellin in my self pity and depression......stop bein so negative n become a better person........i dunno wat to do........no one is guiding me.......no one wants to guide me all they are doin is piling more on me......i know i should not see it like this but hw can i help it? Jesus suffered more than me no one guided him? wat can i say bout me............but really im feelin really lost now........i think im lost actually........from today till dunno when i'll stop going to church........to get my morals straight first they are not helpin at all..........sigh..........i feel lost n abandoned........i told them once when i lst them........i won have a reason to live anymore if i lost this family........im losin them n i don know if i can carry on now.................help!